Thursday, February 28, 2008

there's so many things on my mind that i just can't arrange my thoughts, in accordance to each specific matter.

it is just so crazy to realise that i miss you so much. i miss you still. im so short of everything. i just can't do all this on my own. i feel tired all the time. you killed so much inside of me. i can't do this actually. i feel so fucking hungry. im just so lazy to do what i need to. why do i have to feel like this? shouldn't it be that way? how can this be happening? why is there such a need in this world? everyone's so happy. why do i need to smoke so much? i need a new laptop. i'm just not good enough. i don't have confidence. im stupid. i may have made a wrong choice. national service is such a fucking burden. i fucking hate your guts. why do you have to be like this? how do i keep up with perfection? what can i do? i need more pictures, please. i don't like alot of people. i hate myself. i don't feel like doing this anymore. don't let me go, please. just give me something to do. i love my baby nephew. how was my performance? i don't believe you at all. just give me a chance to prove myself. i feel so weak. i speak none of what's on my mind. cowardice should be my middle name. i miss those times. my fist needs to hit your fucking face. why must you do this to me? what did i do? i just can't.

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