I have just realised something. do you need to be creative, to prove how much you love a person? do you need to be musically talented to convey your meaning of love to someone? does love require you to be artistically talented to draw or paint the ones that you love? is it impossible to find love if you are not intelligent enough to whisper sweet nothings?

hmm, i think im not creative at all. i can't play any musical instruments. i can't sketch, let alone draw or paint. at times, i can't even speak proper english and that explains my low intelligence. wah, im in deep shit. i can't love again. so Ashley, can you teach me how to love?

i know you will, baby.

and what's so funny, freakshow? did you finally manage to grow yourself a dick? or did your girl-breasts deflate into man-boobies? or are you contemplating suicide, yet again?

please please please. please grow a dick. i know you have been having mannish characteristics since forever, so if you grew a dick, that would probably explain why you have a seemingly noticeable moustache and a whole lot of hairs all over your body.

oh yes, i can't stop. i can never stop. try stopping me and i'll make you famous. oh right, you do want to be famous. and one more thing, you're so fucking pretentious to the point where you think your life is all so cheery but in fact, you are having the worst life that anyone could wish that they never had. surprisingly, man-freaks like you interest me. i think i like man-freaks like you. your lot gives me a whole new meaning when i look at retards. they are so much better than you.

ashley baby, this is for you.

Hana - Orange Range (English Version)

Amidst us scattering like flower petals
It was a dream-like miracle that I met you
We love each other, we fight
We climb over all sorts of walls together
If I'm reborn, I'll be a flower by your side

I wonder if the sun will always be right overhead?
I wonder if I'll always be able to protect you? Your expressions, laughing and crying
Anyway, if everything turns to nothing, I'll be even more thankful for us having met
That day, that time, the tracks left at that place
Will again give birth to new tracks

I become strong by loving, I make it through by believing
The things that you left behind even now glitter in my heart, not having disappeared
I think happily of when we met, I regained my smile
Embracing the overflowing feelings of "thanks", I move forward

Amidst us scattering like flower petals
It was a dream-like miracle that I met you
We love each other, we fight
We climb over all sorts of walls together
If I'm reborn, I want to be with you

I'm going to scatter like flower petals
I'll accept everything in this world
The thing that you left me
Is a real treasure called "now"
So living with all my might, I'll be a flower

Why do flowers wither?
Why do birds fly?
Why does the wind blow?
Why does the moon light up?

Why am I here?
Why are you here?
Why did I meet you?
Meeting you, that was fate

Amidst us scattering like flower petals
It was a dream-like miracle that I met you
We love each other, we fight
We climb over all sorts of walls together
If I'm reborn, I want to be with you

I'm going to scatter like flower petals
I'll accept everything in this world
The thing that you left me
Is a real treasure called "now"
So living with all my might, I'll be a flower

After the rain, a rainbow hangs in the sky, light is born in the mountain air
Right here, I become aware
Of a firm and important thing called "loving"
Can I still walk on? I can see it
My "feelings", pass through time, and echo into eternity
Your happiness, your pain, your everything
Well, bloom then in full, more and more and more


Hana - Orange Range (Japanese Version)

Hanabira no you ni chiri yuku naka de
Yume mitai ni kimi ni deaeta kiseki
Ai shi atte kenka shite
Ironna kabe futari de nori koete
Umare kawatte mo anata no soba de hana ni narou

Itsu made mo aru no darou ka ore no maue ni aru taiyou wa
Itsu made mo mamori kireru darou ka naki warai okoru kimi no hyoujou wo
Izure subete naku naru no naraba futari no deai ni motto kansha shiyou
Ano hi ano toki ano basho no kiseki wa
Mata atarashii kiseki wo umu darou

Ai suru koto de tsuyoku naru koto shinjiru koto de norikoreru koto
Kimi ga nakushita mono wa ima mo mune ni hora kagayaki ushinawazu ni
Shiawase ni omou meguri aeta koto ore no egao torimodoseta koto
"arigatou" afureru kimochi daki susumu doutei

Hanabira no you ni chiri yuku naka de
Yume mitai ni kimi ni deaeta kiseki
Ai shi atte kenka shite
Ironna kabe futari de nori koete
Umare kawatte mo anata ni aitai

Hanabira no you ni chitte yuku koto
Kono sekai de subete uke irete yukou
Kimi ga boku ni nokoshita mono
"ima" to iu genjitsu no takaramono
Da kara boku wa seiippai ikite hana ni narou

Hana wa nande kareru no darou
Tori wa nande toberu no darou
Kaze wa nande fuku no darou
Tsuki wa nande akari terasu no

Naze boku wa koko ni iru n darou
Naze kimi wa koko ni iru n darou
Naze kimi ni deaeta n darou
Kimi ni deaeta koto sore wa unmei

Hanabira no you ni chiri yuku naka de
Yume mitai ni kimi ni deaeta kiseki
Ai shi atte kenka shite
Ironna kabe futari de nori koete
Umare kawatte mo anata ni aitai

Hanabira no you ni chitte yuku koto
Kono sekai de subete uke irete yukou
Kimi ga boku ni nokoshita mono
"ima" to iu genjitsu no takaramono
Da kara boku wa seiippai ikite hana ni narou

Ame agari niji kakari ao arashi ni umareshi hikari
Koko ni yuruginai taisetsu na mono
Kizuiteru "ai suru" to iu koto
Mada arukeru darou? mieteru n da mou
"omoi" toki wo koe towa ni hibike
Kimi no yorokobi kimi no itami kimi no subete yo
Saa sakihokore motto motto motto

LoveHateHero - Theatre of Robots

You'll make it up, you'll tell a lie.

Pretend you're real, go on and try.

Praise yourself, its all okay.

It gets easier, it gets easier.

So take your pills (So take your pills), blur your life.

Forget you were ever there, to enjoy the ride.

And bite your lip (And bite your lip), swallow your pride.

How long has it been for you, since you felt alive?

To wave, goodbye.

To wave, goodbye.

The pavement; it dulls your senses.

And visions of black and white, of solid steel, and flashing lights.

So close your eyes, and lose this fight.

how dramatic can my first Christmas celebration be?

it was supposedly a Christmas party, excluding the spirit of caring. Why I said supposedly, is because Peiying said in her own words, that Christmas is just an excuse to have a party. At first, I didn't think of it as something to ponder about so I just let it rest.

When the turning point happened at Sean's crib, I could not help it but think if what Peiying said was true. Christmas could really be just an excuse to have a party. After a while, I think that Christmas could be an excuse for everything.

But what was too much to handle was that someone had to steal on Christmas. What was that all about, nicking someone's stuff? It's Christmas la fuck. Even if that thing was lying around, it does not mean that its a bloody present for you to take it home what.

Even if it is a present, it should be wrapped and be placed under the Christmas tree, and you could only start unwrapping it on Boxing Day. okay I know that's not the issue.

And come on la, its somebody's house for goodness sake. You don't fucking steal things in people's houses man. It is just morally wrong and this sinful act questions your loyalty as a friend. Friends don't do this to their friends. The rules of friendship didn't state that stealing is perfectly fine between friends. Neither does it state that the things in your friends' houses are the best things to steal. This is just so fucking wrong la.

You're fucking lucky that this place we live in is not some Middle Eastern country. If it is, you'll get your fucking hand chopped off if you are caught for stealing.

But I think there is one thing that you can steal without being accused of theft and sent to prison, and also without questioning your integrity as a human being.

And that is, to steal someone's heart.

We should encourage more of that actually because all we need is love to stop everything negative from happening. It's a shield, like a Patronus Charm against the Dementors. If you want the spell to work, what you have to do is to think about the ones that you love, the ones you hold on closely to, the ones who are willing to go the extra mile for you and the ones whom you want to protect each and every single day. It's really love that triumphs everything.

ich vermisse dich, ashley.

This is fucked up.

I've yet to receive payment for any of my freelance projects. So far, I've gotten 4 projects. I've completed 3, with much difficulty and I've yet to be rewarded. What the fuck man. Besides coming in for the experience, I also wanna earn some moolahs for school and shit. I can't keep doing freelance designing for 'free'.

I think I trust people too easily. When it comes to money, no one is ever willing to part with their money. WTF k people. I'm supposed to get $140 by now actually. And now, I have ZERO. ZILCH. KOSONG. EGG.

2 weeks left till school starts. I won't be having my 7 months holiday because apparently, I can't skip AM for semester 2. What a bitch. Guess I gotta endure 6 months before I enter my desired course, CD.

Honestly, I can't wait for school to start actually. I can't wait to be around people, laughing and smiling with them, despite me being the quietest around them. I guess it doesnt really matter how much noise you make, it's more of what kind of a friend you are. Well, I hope things in semester 2 will be a whole lot different. Maybe lesser essays. And NOOOO interviews. Fuck, I hate interviews.

So yeah, Ally is going to Japan on the 22th, which is this Saturday. As much as I want to make fun of you spending time alone in Japan, I certainly hope you can take care of yourself there.

So yeah, I've brought you down to your lowest points a coupla times. Oh okay, maybe more than that. What I say about you is not what I actually want for you. You have known me a lot longer than a lot of people. You should know that the things that I say, are things that doesnt come directly from my heart. It is mostly out of anger. I have said that like a gazillion times but you just don't get it la. I'm just like this and I think I cannot change. One thing that's for sure is that I know you can change. I think girls can adapt to any kind of change much more better than boys. But of course, when you come back from Japan and if you somehow look, talk and act like a Japanese, that kind of change is bad. Just don't go putting 'ne' at every sentence that you say alright.

I miss Ashley Chrysler. WEEEEEEEEEE!

why do we do what we do?

i do what i do because i love doing it.

and when i say i love bringing you down, oh hell yes i will do it.

and what did you say? you wun care? all the more better innit?

as we can see, ALLY aka zuzu doesnt give a damn about being dyslexic. YEAH SURE. so much for telling me that you're so fucking afraid that no one will want you if you're a dyslexic. so much for lying to other people about the story behind that freakish scar on your head. so much for telling me that nobody will accept you for who you are, and thanks for telling me that i'm the only one who can actually accept your scarred past.

who the hell are you kidding, kiddo? if you truly dun give a rat's ass about you having dyslexia, try telling your employer that you have dyslexia when you go and apply for work in Japan. he will babble something in Japanese and he will gladly send you off the door. there goes your dyslexic dreams.

and PLEASE. you're telling me to trust you? you're not goin to listen anymore? BOOHOO. as if that's going to make a difference. you dun need to listen, you douchebag. you just need to see and be amazed at my ability to bring your dyslexic ass down. if words wun do the trick, pictures can. HAH

and you know what i mean by PICTURES. i still have them.

so what can you do? NOTHING. go back to Japan suaa.

15th December 2007.
2 years old.
never happened.
never will.

you suck, you fucking dyslexic bitch.

oops, did i just say that?

shit im so damn lazy to type.

Let's talk about hair.

i have lots of hair everywhere. You name it, its there and its growing abnormally fast for me. There's no place on my body that hair was supposed to be there but it wasn't there because it is there.

I had hair eversince i was born and hair was a part of me when i came into this world. Therefore, I value the hairs on my body, especially the one on top of my huge alien head. I've been sporting the same hairdo eversince primary school, just that its longer now.

my primary school hairdo

my secondary school hairdo

so yeah, my hair has pretty much been the same or uglier. And if you have known me for quite some time, you would have noticed that i've never been bald before. I once swore (with no one around), that i will never shave my head unnecessarily. having a hair-less head for National Service is excluded, since it is necessary.



But when my mum told me that she would actually get for me a PSP for my last birthday gift, i was thrilled. Damn fucking excited until she told me she wants me bald, if i want that PSP.


she hates my hair la. why la mum, why? why must you negotiate with me in such a way that is sooo fucking tempting? i really want that PSP, but i also dun want to lose the hair that has been with me for 10 odd years.

tell you what.

im gonna fucking show you a picture that i've edited, how i look like if im bald.





that's how ugly i am, to the point where i needed to include a fake blindfold around my eyes to prevent recognisability. HAHAHA, as if that helps.


okay so yeah its fucking ugly but that's the whole point, isnt it? being bald is ugly! ugly is bald, bald is ugly!

"FUCK, its a psp man. Wan, come on! its a fucking PSP man. Wan, in case you don't know, this is a PSP.."

"Wan, it is a beautiful thing right. Lose your hair, bro. Then a PSP is all yours man. yours to play, yours to keep.."


"Hair can always grow back, its not a big deal at all."

so here begins one of my late night blogging sessions. oklah i bluff lah, its only 11.28 p.m. so yeah, the saga between the two asswipes and me have quieten down and i really really intend to let it stay that way, unless one of the two asswipes i've mentioned decides to tickle the sleeping giant. hua hua hua. okay so yeah, its been pretty uneventful since then and so, i've decided to make this blog entry short and simple.





here are the photos that me and my lovely sister took en route to china one. we pretty much camwhored like whores. there may not be alot of photos that are uploaded here but trust me, there are more which i did not upload due to the fact that either she is ugly or i'm just too attention-seeking to be posted up here.





other than that, the rest of the photos are fine. please, enjoy.

ALRIGHT MAN.

that's pretty much it.

it looks like someone is trying not to care about what's happening here. hahahaha.

its good to know that you don't care about what is happening here. its good to know that you don't care about me anymore. i have succeeded in making you hate me, that was what i was planning to do after all these while.

because of the fact that you don't give a shit about me anymore, i can finally get on with life, with the fact that we stand no chance of being together again in the future, embedded in my mind.

im sorry to make you hate me. but its something that i have to do, to let everything go.

im happy now. i truly am.

please don't make me laugh la!

should i or shouldn't i?
hmm..

since you assumed that im trying to get all the attention, i shall put your comment here since i ♥ attention so much!

I think this is childish, seriously. Why must you both drag this on and on and be selfish to one another? I tried to be nice to you but you still bring shit to my face. What IS your problem actually? Trying to get all the attention? Grow up lah. You're already 20 and you're behaving like a 16 year old. Just forget about this and leave alright? If it's hurting you so much, just leave. Don't be pathetic, please.

(bobby)
6:28 PM

let's see, does this comment need an assessment?




















oh holy god YES!

okay so here it goes..


I think this is childish, seriously.

Bobby seems pissed at the fact that this is getting really childish. Is it because of the fact that he never felt young at heart and was deprived of all things kiddy, to the point where he had to act like an adult? possible.

I tried to be nice to you but you still bring shit to my face. What IS your problem actually?

Bobby, you have been nice to me so far and I think I have been nice to you as well but I still bring shit to your face? Hmm, I doubt so unless you mean Shizuko. hahahaha. okay stop it Ryan, that's mean. hahahaha.

Trying to get all the attention? Grow up lah. You're already 20 and you're behaving like a 16 year old.

Define attention. If you're talking about linking my blog to a gazillion bloggers, I think that's where you're wrong. I don't seek attention. They come to me. I can never control the way I write and that's because it is my only way of expressing how I feel. I shall never lie like that girl you're with just to get away with things. Even her mum said, " si dier ni kuat bohong."

It's amazing to know that you think I'm behaving like a 16 year old but just so you know, a temperamental brat like me, I always feel young at heart (:

If it's hurting you so much, just leave. Don't be pathetic, please.

I won't leave. I don't think I need to because she will. Just so you know, people who are pathetic are useless, worthless and unsuccessful. I may be unsuccessful and I may be useless but at least, I value my own fucking life. I don't go jumping off multi-storey carparks. I don't relish or indulge myself in self-mutilation. I don't give myself an overdose of pills.

So you're telling me not to be pathetic?

Eat your words, Bobby.

i was undeniably drunk when i got home from china one yesterday but it was a miracle to know that i did not puke along the way home and i even took the night bus, in my half-conscious state! my 7300th day on Earth was just like any other day because i didn't feel happy and people kept pissing me off like its their day job. okay so why am i pissed, you ask me. Some particular girl just had the cheek to wish me Happy Birthday on my supposedly happiest day of the year. so you think i'll be all smiles and grinning from ear to ear if you do that? do you happen to know that despite your small physique and low intellect, you have made me become one of the most angriest people among my friends?

and so you think wishing me that will dissolve our differences in the past? not a chance in hell. if you don't know what that meant, it means fuck you.

and so you ask me why im sooo over-reacting about the issue of my vector image being put up at this particular girl's blog. First and foremost, she did not seek my permission. It's just like plagiarism whereby you take somebody's work and make it your own. Yes, i know you can't come up with that brilliance with your low intellect but please, just don't do things like this to other people. Secondly, she had the fucking cheek to put my link on her blog. I don't need publicity. I'm not an attention seeker like you.

so yeah, let's assess how angry she is. The phrases in Italics are taken from her blog, the ones that indicated her anger.

"Why would the fuck I care?"

so yeah, why the fuck must you care? why the hell must you say that i still fucking mean alot to you? eh please lah, take your words and shove it up your ass.

"Seriously, FUCK YOU.Why should I fucking care right?Go ahead and slap your words asshole"

okay hmm, not exactly a good comeback but you really posed a good question though. But why the hell must i slap my words? i don't even think that's possible. maybe in your dyslexic world?

"I could fuck you upside down"

are you sure you can do it? i'm not even half convinced. on the other hand, i could fuck you upside down. wanna try me?

"CHIBAI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FUCK OKAY?!FUCK LAH BASTARD!!!!!!!!!!"

sorry, i don't own a chibai.
umm, fuck? yeah sure.
yeah i know im a bastard while you're a bitch.

end of assessment.

so from my previous experiences of assessing people, what i can say is that she is indeed angry. Sadly, she is not intellectual enough to show how angry she is. She says the wrong things and she obviously doesnt understand the true meaning of anger. When you're angry, you tend to hurt the person that you're angry at. Well, im not even hurt at all. HAHAHA. so its like you're angry and you're venting all your frustrations on a wall, but the wall doesn't respond. so sad. "cries".

"your life is so sad, you should change your name from shizuko to sadzuko. HAHAHAHA."

and when i thought all was over and done with, some dudee just had to butt in. i'm seriously not sure if he is trying to squeeze his puny ass into this little argument, just to fit in.

"Some people just don't appreciate the little things that others do for them"

correct me if i'm wrong. did i hear a thank you from anyone of you when i came over to her place to talk to her mum? when that girl "ran away", did i hear a thank you from you, when i found her first?

i know that i heard none.

so yeah, i might not have been able to convince her mum successfully but at least i tried. i know it wasn't a good effort but i fucking tried. aaaaand, what did you do there? please remind me (:

so tell me, what about people not appreciate the little things that others do for them?

ahh, so you want me to appreciate the things that you did for me? sure man, i'll gladly send you to the airport and i'll tell your mum what a good fuck you've been. you ask me if that is necessary, yes it is! i need to publicise and acknowledge your achievements!

hah.

till this day, you have never known how to truly make me realise how wonderful of a person i can be.